


The Sweeter The Sun

by Snow_Falls



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: (But the shapeshifting has nothing to do with the sex), (Just sayin'), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Magic, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, I'm not sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Sexual Content, Shapeshifting, Soft Boys, Solar Punk, my politics are showing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-04 21:23:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18821008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snow_Falls/pseuds/Snow_Falls
Summary: Eiji moves to not-so-small town Cape Cod after an accident that stops his pole-vaulting career in its tracks. He soon learns of strange and disturbing rumours about his beautiful neighbour, Ash Lynx, warning him away. But, Eiji isn't one to let other people make up his mind, and when he finds Ash to be witty, bookish, and unfairly attractive, he becomes his friend instead.Or, Ash and Eiji getting together in a magical, solar punk world.





	The Sweeter The Sun

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from. That's not totally true, I know [this](https://nightofviolet.tumblr.com/post/184812896304/browntiger15-siniristiriita-story-idea-the) post was the catalyst, but it took a hard fucking bank. Anyway, I continue to be on my bullshit. I imagined Eiji to be about 21, which makes Ash 19, I didn't really think about it, tbh. I wrote this in like one day, so it is what it is. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Please enjoy!

Let it hurl, let the awful song be heard  
Blue bird, I know your beat, baby  
But your secret is safe with me 'cause if secrets were like seeds  
Keep my body from the fire, hire a gardener for my grave  
Your secret is safe with me, and if secrets were like seeds  
When I'm lying under marble, marvel at flowers you'll have made

- _No Plan_ , Hozier

 

Cape Cod wasn’t where Eiji had planned to settle in, but after everything that happened, it seemed a better option than returning to Japan and licking his wounds. It felt too much like running, and maybe Cape Cod was still just him running, but at least it wasn’t to a place where his friends and family would look at him with eyes full of well intentioned but grating pity.

Here at least he could make a new start, and looking at this incredible town, hope welled in him for the first time since the accident.

Eiji walked down the cobblestone street, admiring the scenery. Cape Cod was a town that had grown around a stream, fed by a waterfall that could be seen from the highest point of the town. That wasn’t uncommon for towns, and it wasn’t the first time Eiji had visited a place like this one. It was still distinctly American, the buildings and houses bigger, but just like they were in Japan, they were covered in foliage. Trees, vines, flowers, plants of all kind that were native to Cape Cod sprang from all over the town, they intertwined with buildings, often a deliberate part of their design, so that some shops were more like tree houses than free standing stores.

Every town and every city had green houses, and Eiji walked by Cape Cod’s central green house. It was in the heart of the town, where all restaurants and stores received their non-local produce. As he walked by Eiji saw rows of miniature peach, orange, and cherry trees, a few rows of pineapples, sugarcane, and guava grew as well. In high school Eiji had learned the science behind these miniature plants, as well as the sudden and frantic boom in the sciences when, hundreds of years ago, it had been discovered that industrialization and capitalism had been killing the planet. Suddenly the world begged for science to save them, and when the world finally saw some sense, they had opened their arms to magic too.

Eiji wasn’t old enough to remember what it was like for people before, no one alive now was, but magic and science hadn’t always gone hand in hand as they did now. It was once something that was feared and reviled, called superstition, scorned, and scoffed at, people had actually died – been killed – for possessing something as natural as magic.

Of course, now that people no longer feared for their lives, magic was allowed to flourish, and almost everyone had some of it. There were little things everyone could do, help their plants grow, keep produce fresh, stop their clothes from wrinkling, keep their houses free of pests, all of these things were simple bits of magic that almost everyone could do to at least some degree of success.

Eiji stopped by the grocery store closest to his new apartment and bought ingredients for that evening’s dinner.

“New here, honey?” The woman at the cash asked him. An older woman, she looked about the same age as Eiji’s mother, she was plump with deep laugh lines and kind eyes.

“Yes, ma’am.” Eiji said.

She laughed and waved Eiji’s formalities away. “Call me Dora, honey, short for Theodora, but only my mother calls me that.” She handed Eiji back his change and then helped him bag his things. There was no one waiting in line behind him, and they took their time. “You settling in all right?”

“This is only day two,” Eiji said by way of answer, and Dora nodded her head in understanding.

“You live in the Banana Fish complex?” Dora handed Eiji his bags, which he took gratefully.

“Yes, I do,” he said, a little surprised she had guessed correctly.

She smiled at his expression and tapped at her right temple with a finger. “Hunches,” she said, “I’m almost always right. Well, then, dear, you just let me know if you need anything, I know what it’s like to be the new face.”

“Thank you very much,” said Eiji, meaning it. He set down one of his bags and extended his right hand. Dora didn’t hesitate to take it. “My name is Eiji Okumura, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Wonderful meeting you, Eiji.” Dora let go of his hand, and passed him his bag again. They exchanged a friendly smile. Eiji turned to leave, when he was at the door Dora spoke again. “Oh, and Eiji, honey, be careful of Ash Lynx, that boy is a liar.”

 

 

Eiji got to his apartment and began dinner. He hooked his phone up and played some of his favourite music, he sung along as he moved through his small kitchen and cooked. He had bought enough for a few days, so it was going to be curry for the next couple of nights, and that was fine with him.

When he was done he sat on a stool at his kitchen counter and ate, music still playing in the background. He went over a mental list of things he still needed for his apartment, he hadn’t brought more than clothes with him when he moved, selling the rest in a hurry before he could change his mind and go back to Japan after all.

After cleaning up Eiji filled his watering can and stepped out onto his little balcony. One foot out, he froze.

A pair of eyes like jade stared at him; Eiji stared back. On the railing of his balcony sat a cat, and it looked like a – “Lynx.” Eiji breathed.

At the sound of his voice the cat sped off, swiftly running along the railing, jumping on the neighbouring balcony to the left, and disappearing through the little cat-flap in the door.

Eiji stared at that door for another few seconds before he shook himself back to reality. He carefully watered his plants, and then set the watering can down to look over them. It was just the beginning of spring, and still too early for the seeds he planted to sprout, but the saplings he had bought were thriving. Eiji put a gentle finger on the leaf of his tomato plant and said quietly, “Do your best.” It helped if he spoke aloud, that seemed to get the best results.

He brought the watering can back in and closed the door. Instead of getting ready to sleep Eiji sat in bed with his laptop. He tried to talk himself out of doing it even as his fingers hovered over the keyboard. Eiji knew it was best if he just keep his distance, if he took his mind off everything, which was why he was here, after all. But, still. Eiji looked up that season’s pole-vaulting schedule and the competitors, his peers. Ex-peers. Then, he sat and watched videos of pole-vaulting competitions until his eyes burned.

* 

A week later Eiji’s apartment had luxuries like dishtowels, dish soap _and_ hand soap, and a bedside lamp, but the most luxurious thing he had bought was not for his apartment, but for himself. It was a new camera, well, a second – hand camera, but it was new for Eiji. This was part of why Eiji had come to Cape Cod in the first place, he was going to try and make a living off skills that Ibe-san, a family friend, had taught him a few years ago. Eiji was rusty, so he didn’t expect greatness from himself all at once, but it would be his last attempt at staying in America.

While he gathered his things, something made Eiji turn to look out at his balcony. The neighbour’s cat was there again. It sat on the railing of his balcony; it seemed to look right at him. Eiji made a mental note to leave water out for it, and maybe buy some wet food, and then went out.

The stream that Cape Cod was built around was winding, so the town was winding. The streets were made for foot traffic and bikes, with just enough space for the trams and buses to pass by. Like in almost all towns and cities, cars were a luxury few could afford, and so most places, especially ones that were small and tightly packed like Cape Cod, had no real need of space for them.

The town was built on a hill as well, so getting to the other end of it on foot, like Eiji was doing, meant exercise. Eiji had to take his time about it, his injury was healed enough that he could manage, but he couldn’t go at his regular speed. It was probably better this way though, it meant Eiji got to stop and take pictures. He took pictures of a shop with one wall covered in ivy, its roof slated with solar panels that shimmered and reflected every colour, like a prism. He took pictures of houses, of trees as tall as buildings, of houses covered in vines, and flocks of birds coming home after a cold winter.

Eiji played with the lens, he adjusted and readjusted the settings, he deliberately sought out shots with bad lighting, or no lighting at all, and did his best to capture something objectively good, and then something _he_ thought was good, which weren’t always the same things. And when he got to the highest point of the town, Eiji sat on one of the many benches installed so people could sit and admire Cape Cod, or the waterfall that fed their vegetation. It was a town like any other, and yet there was something wondrous about it that made Eiji feel like he was meant to be there. He hoped he was right about that.

After a little while Eiji made his way back to his neighbourhood. He would go back to his apartment, look over his pictures, edit them, and then tomorrow start the process of selling himself with the confidence of the old white men of the past, who never thought to be held accountable for their reckless disregard for the planet or anyone else in general. In other words, Eiji was going to start applying for jobs. It was a draining and often demoralizing ordeal, but he couldn’t live off his savings forever, and he needed to do _something_ with his time.

Eiji could tell he had crossed into his small neighbourhood when shop owners and pedestrians started calling out to, nodding, or smiling at him. The town wasn’t that small, but apparently it wasn’t big enough that his move went unnoticed, and soon everyone knew that the young man who had moved into apartment 20 in the Banana Fish Complex was Eiji Okumura, aspiring photographer.

Passing by the herbalist, Eiji was beckoned in. A pleasant young man ran the store, Andrew Miller, and greeted Eiji with a smile that almost completely swallowed his eyes.

“Got some camomile tea, Eiji, and some lavender, which should help too.” Andrew said, pulling two small glass jars from behind his counter. On the lids were written _Camomile-for Eiji_ and _Lavender-for Eiji_.

“Oh,” said Eiji, feeling a little touched, but also embarrassed. “I don’t have any money right now…”

Andrew waved this away. “Don’t worry about it, first one’s on the house.” Andrew said, pushing the jars across the counter. “And, tell you what. My son is turning one, my wife and I would like some portraits taken, would you consider doing that for us?”

“Oh!” Said Eiji again, this time in surprise. “Yes, of course.”

“Great.” Andrew said. He took out his phone and scrolled through it, he gave Eiji some dates that worked for him and they settled on a time. “What are your rates?”

“Rates?” Eiji repeated, feeling like he should have prepared more for this particular conversation. Every ball Andrew threw at him seemed to make Eiji fumble, it wasn’t exactly a pleasant feeling although he knew Andrew wasn’t doing it on purpose, and he was grateful for what Andrew was trying to do for him. “I, ah, I’ll double check and I’ll send you a quote.”

“Sounds good.” Andrew said, beaming. “I’ll keep my ear to the ground, and if I hear of any other photography work I’ll let you know.”

“Yeah,” said Eiji, taking the jars that were practically pushed into his hands. “Thanks.”

He was still thinking about the interaction, and whether or not family portraits were really what Eiji wanted to do forever, when he found himself already outside his apartment door. While Eiji dug in his pocket for his keys, the apartment door next to his opened, he automatically looked up.

Emerging from apartment number 18 was Eiji’s neighbour, the owner of the cat that was his name’s sake, Ash Lynx. It was Eiji’s first time seeing him, although he knew plenty about him, as soon as people knew where Eiji lived, they didn’t waste any time telling Eiji about him.

Eiji had absolutely no idea if anything else he had been told about Ash Lynx was true, but the one thing everyone had been completely accurate about was that he was beautiful. When Eiji looked up at him, Ash turned to meet his gaze. His eyes were a brilliant green, framed by hair the colour of sunlight on wheat, his features striking, boyishly handsome, like Greek gods in renaissance paintings. And, it felt like they stood there looking at each other for minutes instead of seconds, the moment endless, as the gorgeous young man in front of him made Eiji immobile.

He remembered something Dora had told him,  _" _Only the truly desperate ask for Ash’s help_."_

Ash looked away first, turning back to his door, locking it, and walking down the hall with graceful, almost entrancing, movements. Eiji stared for another long moment before he finally managed to make himself move.

In his apartment, Eiji left his teas in the kitchen and went to take a shower. He thought about his neighbour, who everyone seemed to agree was dangerous, and couldn’t help but think he had looked more lonesome than anything. It was his eyes, Eiji thought, and his expression, which gave him a sorrowful air, but was honed to a sharp point by the equal measure of fierceness in them. Maybe Ash was dangerous, Eiji didn’t know that he wasn’t, but he was definitely lonely, and Eiji knew what that was like.

*

Coming home from taking portraits for the Miller family, Eiji was stopped outside his building by the sound of a sudden loud yowl. He jumped, then froze, and then moved toward the source. On the other side of the building, he heard a small pained noise. Eiji looked down, and found he was looking at his neighbour’s cat once more. Slowly, and carefully, Eiji held out his hands. He took a tentative step forward as the cat eyed him warily. Catching the light around the cat were pieces of shattered glass, so small Eiji probably wouldn’t have noticed them either unless he stepped on them.

“Did you cut yourself on the glass?” Eiji asked quietly, furrowing his brows in concern. He bit the inside of his cheek and considered what to do. Then, he took off his jacket and held it out, as calmly and soothingly as he could, Eiji said, “I just want to help you. I’m going to take you to your owner, okay?”

The cat looked at him, when Eiji took a step forward, it took a step back. He stopped, and thought frantically. If he just left to get Ash, the cat would probably run away, he was worried it would step into more glass doing that.

Eiji wished he had catnip. Then, took off his bag slowly as he realized he might have something the cat would want anyway. Eiji took out his unfinished sandwich and pulled a piece of cheese from it. It was a tiny piece, since Eiji knew dairy wasn’t great for cats, but like most people, cats too usually wanted what they couldn’t and shouldn’t have.

“Here,” Eiji said, proffering the morsel of cheese. “You can have this while I take you to Ash, okay? I’m just going to bring you home, your owner will want to help you.”

The cat stretched out its neck and sniffed, its eyes on Eiji, and Eiji stayed perfectly still, holding out the cheese. Finally, the cat came forward. It came toward him slowly, deliberately avoiding stepping on its front right paw. When it took the cheese, Eiji carefully scooped it up. He felt the cat tense, wiggle, and then allow itself to be carried.

Eiji cradled the cat in his jacket like a baby and went to Ash’s apartment. Careful not to jostle what he was almost positive was, in fact, a lynx, Eiji knocked on the door. He waited, but he didn’t hear any movement, and the door remained firmly closed. Eiji frowned and tried again. Still nothing.

“Damn,” he muttered.

He considered his options, and found he didn’t really have any to consider. Fumbling, Eiji produced his keys, and awkwardly maneuvered his door open. Once inside Eiji made straight for the bathroom. It wasn’t easy trying to keep a hold of the cat and get what he needed to administer first-aid, but Eiji did his best and managed not to add insult to injury and drop Ash’s cat.

Eiji sat the cat on the lid of his toilet and knelt on the floor, his jacket still under the cat.

“I’m just going to look at your paw, okay?” Eiji said, watching the cat watch him, and gently extended the cat’s paw. There was a small shiny piece of glass stuck in it. Eiji bit his lip and one handed rummaged through his first-aid bag for tweezers. The cat tried to pull its paw back, it felt more like a token effort, testing Eiji’s grip, and he murmured soothingly to it, keeping his grip firm but gentle.

This wasn’t Eiji’s fist time taking care of minor injuries to pets. His dog in Izumo had been a stray, and when he found him, Eiji had become an expert overnight on how to care for dogs. Of course, lynxes were probably different, but Eiji knew enough not to try and put anything like rubbing alcohol on the injury, and took it as a good sign when the cut remained red but didn’t bleed out. It washed it carefully with warm water and kept it in the air for a moment to let it dry. The cat fidgeted, attempted half – heartedly to extract its paw again, and kept its intelligent, deep green eyes fixed on Eiji’s face.

For some reason Eiji found this endearing, he had the urge to press his forehead to the cat’s, but thought better of it. Instead he smiled, and spoke low and soothing, reassuring the cat in soft Japanese. Of course the cat wouldn’t have really understood him in English, but Japanese felt like a more comforting language to Eiji, and he thought he got his point across better in his native language.

Then, Eiji carefully bundled up the cat again, which it submitted to with more equanimity than last time, and gently deposited him on his couch. There the cat stretched out, lying on its side, eyes still intent on Eiji. He smiled again and went to his bag where he produced paper and pen. He scrawled a brief note for Ash, explaining his cat was alright but a little scratched and he had cleaned up the cut, and then quickly left to slip it under his door.

When he came back the cat was still where Eiji had left it, and he went about making dinner, chatting idly.

“I’ve heard a lot about your owner,” Eiji said. “The things that people say…” He trailed off remembering, slowing down as he cut up bell peppers. He looked over his kitchen counter at the cat that belonged to the most notorious person in Cape Cod. Eiji gave the cat a wry smile. “I’ll make up my own mind anyway.”

The cat’s ears twitched, it blinked slowly at him, but otherwise offered no comment. Eiji changed the subject, talking about his job search and how his prospects looked.

When his food was ready he poured water into a bowl and set it on the ground, carefully placing Ash’s cat in front of it. The cat seemed to understand that Eiji wasn’t going to do anything bad to it once he picked it up, and essentially let itself become dead weight when it was lifted. It was amusing and endearing, and the cat sniffed the water once before drinking deeply. Eiji ate on the couch watching videos of friends he hadn’t talked to since the accident. It was stuff they had posted, clips of their pole-vaulting, and videos of their exhibition prep, and felt a familiar ache throb in his chest, and sit low in his stomach. He ate his food without tasting it.

Later, Eiji set out to check on his plants again, and when he opened the door, Ash’s cat darted out, leaping gracefully onto the railing, blinking once at him, and hopping over to his own house, disappearing through the cat flap.

When Eiji was ready to call it a night he went to turn off the lights in his kitchen and saw a slip of paper by his door. He picked it up and saw his own note. Turning it over revealed something else written in unfamiliar cursive, it was only two words long.

 _Thank you_.

* 

The second time Eiji saw Ash, it was out on his balcony. He had come out to water his plants, and found Ash already outside, sitting and reading a book. Eiji hesitated for just a second before he stepped completely out and watered his plants. His seeds were showing the first hint of sprouts, and Eiji took extra care with them, quietly whispering encouragements.

This was Eiji’s magic, a particularly strong plant affinity. Of course, Eiji had learned about plant care, and what was best for ones he dealt with often, but he also just _knew_ sometimes what to do for them. No plant he ever came into contact with died, in fact, they were usually brighter and stronger by far.

As Eiji worked he shot looks at Ash from the corner of his eye. The other young man didn’t so much as glance his way. Eiji bit the inside of his cheek.

When he was done, Eiji put down his watering can, and stepped over to the other side of his balcony, right up to the railing that was maybe a foot away from Ash’s. He did it quickly, before he lost his nerve.

“I like your soybean plant,” Eiji said, watching as Ash looked up from him book and blinked startlingly green eyes at him. His stomach did a little flip when it realized he was going to keep this interaction going. “It looks strong, but I think it’s wilting a little, I could help, if you want.”

Ash kept those bright eyes on Eiji for endless seconds, and Eiji thought he wouldn’t say anything at all, but then he got up and picked up the potted plant. Ash brought it over to him, stretching out his arm to pass the plant over to Eiji, who took it carefully, thinking for one moment it was possible he might make the worst impression in the world by dropping Ash’s plant onto the sidewalk.

Up close the plant was a little bit worse off than Eiji had discerned from far away. Eiji touched a small green leaf gently and said quietly, “Be strong.” He smiled down at the little plant, and then at Ash as he passed it back. Ash took it without looking at the plant; he kept his eyes on Eiji.

“Thank you,” he said.

Maybe it was because of his direct gaze, or because it was the first words Ash had spoken to him, but Eiji blushed. He had to look away, smiling a little awkwardly at his feet.

“You’re welcome,” Eiji replied, glancing back up, Ash’s expression had changed, he looked amused, and for some reason that too made Eiji feel hot. “You probably need to change the amount of light it gets, by the way. I’d say it’s not getting enough, but I can keep an eye on it for you, if you want.”

Now, Ash smiled. It was just a slight upturn to the corner of his mouth, but it was a smile, and Eiji was struck again by how good – looking Ash was, unfairly so.

“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.” A slight pause, and then Ash set the plant back down, and went right up to his railing, leaning over it and extending his right hand. “I’m Ash.” He said.

Surprised, and more than a little pleased, Eiji took Ash’s hand. “I’m Eiji.”

They shook hands, both of them staring a little too long. When they let go, Ash stepped back. He picked up the book he had left on his chair and turned, walking toward his door, there he stopped and looked back. With a smile teasing the corners of his mouth he said, “Goodnight, Eiji.”

It was only when he was gone that Eiji realized he forgot to ask about his cat. 

*

Soon, Eiji had more offers of work than he knew what to do with. He had the luxury of turning some down, of picking what it was he really wanted to do. For acquaintances, he accepted portrait work, but in general what he enjoyed doing was jobs for the town. He got to see the work done in the town green house, taking pictures of the plants, of the workers, of the process, and even taking some footage.

It seemed like no other photographer existed in Cape Cod in that moment, everyone wanted Eiji to come and take pictures of their shop, of their wares, of their pets, and children, it was both flattering and exhausting.

“You’re pretty popular, you know,” Ash said one evening when they were both out on their balconies. He sat, as usual, with a book in hand watching as Eiji carefully looked over his flourishing plants.

“It’s more tiring than I thought it would be,” Eiji replied, “being popular, I mean.”

Ash smiled. “Yeah, it’s not nearly as glamorous as the instruction manual would have had me believe.”

Eiji loved when Ash spoke this way, it was clever and funny, and really emphasized what a bookworm he was. It was in many ways much harder now to reconcile this bookish, attractive young man with all the rumours swirling around him. Eiji found he was less and less inclined to take them at face value. If anything to them were remotely true, there had to be more to the story.

“On the bright side,” Eiji said, finally turning to give Ash his full attention, “I get to see a lot of cute pets. Oh, speaking of which, how is your cat?”

“Good,” Ash said, tracing the spine of his book with a finger. “Thanks again for giving him a hand.”

“Him? What’s his name?” Eiji asked, determined to get all the facts this time.

Ash smiled at him. It was a smile he had given Eiji before, sly, almost secretive. It invited Eiji to come in on the joke, like he was waiting for him to catch the double meaning of a particularly clever pun. “Yes, him. Aslan.”

Whatever the joke was, Eiji didn’t get it, but he desperately wanted to.

“Aslan,” Eiji said, trying it out. “ _Aslan_. That’s a lovely name.”

Ash looked away then, at the book in his hands, and it must have been a trick of the light, but it almost looked like Ash’s cheeks turned a faint pink.

“It means ‘dawn.’” Ash explained to his book.

“Like ‘akira’ in Japanese,” Eiji said, finding the more he thought about it, the more he liked it.

Ash nodded, glancing at him. “Like ‘aurora’ in Latin.”

“Did you read about that?” Gently teasing.

“Yes.”

They smiled at each other.

 

 

Along with his more and more evenings spent talking to Ash, Eiji also spent time with his cat. Aslan was often out on his balcony waiting for Eiji to invite him in. He meowed the equivalent of a polite cough, and Eiji would smile and open the door.

Aslan never took any food Eiji gave him, even though he had bought wet food specifically for him, but he did sometimes drink water Eiji set down for him.

In the mornings Eiji chatted to Aslan in a mixture of Japanese and English, always starting the one sided conversation in English and inevitably slipping into Japanese when words eluded him or ideas were just better served in his native tongue. Aslan kept his unblinking gaze on him, perched on the edge of Eiji’s couch, tail swinging.

Eiji wondered if Ash was out most mornings, because he never heard any movement from him, and it would explain why Aslan showed up at Eiji’s apartment if he was being left home alone. 

Aslan, Eiji found, was the type of cat that wanted to be in the same room as you, but gave you a _look_ that said in no uncertain terms that his presence was not an invitation to touch. That was fine with Eiji, even though he did very much want the chance to pet his luxurious fur; he wanted to keep his hand intact more.

Nights were still hard, and though the teas helped him sleep, Eiji continued to torture himself with videos on a sport he could no longer compete in. Sometimes he stayed up at night and relived the accident, changed the events in his mind, and imagined his life if he was still at school in New York on an athletics scholarship.

It was easier now to talk himself down when he got like this though. And remembering a pair of keen green eyes sometimes helped.

So, more smoothly than he had ever hoped for, Eiji settled into Cape Cod.

*

“Hey,” Eiji said, turning to Ash like an idea had just occurred to him, and not like Eiji had thought about saying this for days now. “I’m going to take pictures of the cat café on Glimmer, do you want to come?”

Ash was sitting out on his balcony again, every time he brought a book with him, but it almost always remained unopened on his lap if Eiji was there.

“When is it?”

Eiji gave him the details feeling hope well up inside and trying to remind himself to be cool.

Ash seemed to consider for a moment, a finger pressed to the underside of his bottom lip, a habitual gesture that drew attention to his lovely mouth.

“Okay,” he said finally.

_Be cool._

“Cool.” Eiji said, like he wasn’t practically jumping up and down on the inside. He almost said, ‘It’s a date.’ But forced those words down and gave Ash an only slightly shaky smile.

The day of the not – date came faster than Eiji had anticipated and he tried on several different outfits before settling for jeans, and an oversized button down. Eiji regarded himself in the mirror, frowning. He tucked the front ends of his shirt into his jeans and surveyed the look, somehow that seemed better.

Before he could overanalyze his look, Eiji picked up his things and left.

Knocking softly on Ash’s door he didn’t have to wait long before he emerged. As always, Ash managed to look effortlessly beautiful and cool. He wore a plain black shirt, ripped jeans, and to highlight his casually cool, a flannel shirt, which he tied around his waist. He too had a bag slung over his shoulders, and he smiled at Eiji when he saw him. Eiji smiled back.

“Ready?”

Ash nodded, and they were off.

As they went Ash pointed out stores and spots of significance to him, laughing when Eiji tripped because his head swivelled around so much he didn’t notice the sudden step at the end of the sidewalk.

“My brother used to take me to get ice-cream there,” Ash said, indicating a small shop that advertised not only ice-cream, but gelato. “His favourite was mint – chocolate chip.” Ash smiled fond, and a little sad.

 _Was_. It didn’t escape Eiji’s attention, and confirmed at least part of one rumour going around about Ash. Before he could make up his mind if it was a good opening to ask Ash about his brother, Ash pointed, excitedly.

“Eiji, look! Ducklings.”

Eiji looked. There were several families of ducks swimming serenely through the water they walked by. Eiji took out his camera and began to snap pictures, the ducklings were still very young, small, fluffy, and yellow, they must have hatched only recently.

“They’re cute,” Eiji said, letting go of his camera and letting it hang on the strap around his neck. “Too bad they will grow up to be vicious and horrible.”

That surprised a laugh out of Ash, who looked at him with eyes that sparkled.

“Someone’s bitter. What happened, did they steal your lunch or something?”

“No,” Eiji said, as they resumed their walk, moving unhurriedly. “I loved them when I was little, and I tried to pet one,” Eiji looked out at the offending birds, remembering. “One of them bit my hand, and then chased me around the park until my mom came and scared it off.”

Ash looked more inclined to sympathy now, although he still smiled.

“Poor baby Eiji.” He said, lightly teasing. “Does your hand still hurt? I could kiss it better.”

Eiji rolled his eyes and shoved at him. Ash laughed and allowed himself to be moved back a step, and they continued walking.

In exchange for telling Ash about his duck incident, Ash told Eiji about his own childhood traumatic experience. He pouted when Eiji laughed in turn, and tugged on a lock of Eiji’s hair in retaliation. Eiji did the same, and then they continually bumped shoulders as they walked, hands constantly brushing. They teased the other, both of them glad they weren’t alone in seemingly silly childhood traumas.

Arriving at the café, Eiji gave the hostess his name and they were both ushered inside. It was a small space, only six tables in the café section, more of the store given over to an enclosure for the cats.

They decided to visit the cats first, leaving their bags, and taking off their shoes, swapping them for sandals the café provided, they went in. There were ten cats in total, some of them lounged on ledges protruding from the walls, some of them sat in boxes, their magnificent girth spilling out over the edges, and some of them walked boldly up to Ash and Eiji, pressing their bodies against the legs of the young men.

There were two other people inside with the cats already. Both of them around Eiji’s age, one of them was lying on the floor, a pure black cat curled up in their chest, purring softly.

Ash sat on the floor, and a black and white Scottish Fold promptly climbed into his lap. Eiji lifted his camera, and was ready when Ash looked up at him, smiling sweet and unguarded.

Eiji spoke to the other customers in the cat enclosure to ask if it was all right to take their pictures as well. When he had their consent, he set about his job. Eiji made sure to get pictures of each cat, doing his best to get their good sides, which was remarkably easy. Approximately half of all his pictures were of Ash who soon had a small pile of cats littering his lap, all of them vying for his attention. The soft looks Ash gave them melted Eiji’s heart, and made him feel like he was witnessing something privileged, and tender. Like the moment a bird takes flight for the first time, or a butterfly emerging from it’s chrysalis.

In no time at all Ash’s shirt was completely covered in cat hair. He laughed when he got up and took in the extent of the damage; Eiji caught that carefree laughter, thinking it would sell at least as well as the pictures of the cats themselves.

There was a small table with brushes and lint rollers in the little vestibule between the cat space and the rest of the café. There Ash and Eiji did their best to clean their clothes of cat hair, and finally sat down to enjoy the café aspect of the shop.

While they sampled the café’s menu, they talked.

“Place you most want to visit?”

“Atlantis.”

“ _Real_ place.”

“Atlantis. You?”

“The Amazon Rain Forest.”

A short laugh, “You’re kind of a nerd, huh?”

“It takes one to know one. Favourite thing to do after a long day?”

“A pretty girl.” Then, “Ow, ow. I’m joking. A crossword puzzle.”

“And, _I’m_ the nerd?”

“Shut up, it’s fun and educational.”

Eiji put his cup down and laughed harder when he saw Ash was perfectly serious. God, he was such a dork, it was stupidly endearing.

Ash regarded Eiji with sharp green eyes, “Worst fear.”

The smile on Eiji’s mouth slowly turned into a thoughtful frown. He dropped his gaze to the cup he held between both hands, staring at its murky depths.

“Helplessness.” Eiji said finally.

“Not ducks?”

Eiji glared at him, not really upset, “What’s yours? Pumpkins?”

“Hurting the people I love.”

They were quiet for a moment, Ash looked directly at him. Eiji looked away first. Here it was again, an opening to ask. Ash must know what people said about him, was this a good place to bring it up, and was it okay for Eiji to broach this subject at all?

Before he could say anything, their waiter came by with the food they had ordered. After that Ash changed the subject and the moment passed.

It only took a little while for the atmosphere between them to become easy and playful again, so that by the time they were making their way home they were bantering comfortably once more.

They stopped at Ash’s door, his being closer to the elevator. The air around them became suddenly heavier, and the nerves Eiji had managed to completely forget about while they were out made themselves known again. He felt ridiculous, and stupid, and very sure he was the only one feeling this. He wanted to kick himself for being an idiot.

Ash had his keys out, and toyed with them in his hands. It was a strange, not unpleasant moment where Eiji felt like he should do _something_ but he didn’t have any idea what that might be. It was almost like Ash was waiting for that _something_ too, and they both kept glancing at each other, and then away.

When Eiji looked up again, he saw that Ash had a strand of black fur caught in his hair, sticking out like a sore thumb in his fair strands. Eiji smiled and reached for it. Ash went very still.

Eiji realized all at once how closely they stood. Ash’s green eyes were huge in his face.

“There was cat hair,” Eiji said, voice suddenly quiet, holding up the strand between thumb and forefinger, not looking away.

“Oh,” Ash said, just as quiet, “Thanks.” He didn’t look away either.

The soft _ding_ of the elevator broke the spell, and they both jumped back as someone got off on their floor.

Eiji felt his face burn; he couldn’t look at Ash as he said, “Thanks for coming with me.”

“Sure."

An awkward pause, then Eiji said. “Um, goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Eiji turned to his door and heard the sound of Ash unlocking his own, and then the soft thump of it closing. Eiji sighed long and quiet and then went into his own apartment.

Once inside Eiji threw himself face down on his couch.

What the hell did he think he was doing?

He remembered the way Ash had looked at him.

Eiji buried his face in his hands and made high-pitched noises that weren’t even attempts at words.

After a minute he heard a muffled meow, the equivalent of a polite cough.

Eiji lifted his head and saw Aslan sitting on his balcony railing again. He smiled and got up, letting the cat in. He sat down on the couch and dropped his head against the back feeling his neck stretch, and trying to think of something other than how close he had been to Ash.

Then, without any prompting, Aslan climbed slowly into Eiji’s lap. More than a little surprised, Eiji looked down as the cat that had once eyed him so warily circled in his lap, and then curled himself into a ball. A warm fondness for Aslan settled in Eiji’s chest and, very softly, he stroked the small head. Aslan purred so quietly Eiji could only tell he was doing it because of the vibrations.

Smiling, Eiji took his phone out and scrolled through it, unable to get up and watch a movie on his laptop like he had been going to.

*

The rumours about Ash Lynx varied in detail. Some of them said he had inherited destructive magic from his mother, and some of them said he learned it once she left, walking out on her young son. They said Ash had power others couldn’t even fathom, that he just barely kept under control, or otherwise that he controlled effortlessly. They said he was cold and unfeeling, or that he still seethed at the trials and indignities of his childhood.

But the one thing they all agreed on was that Ash Lynx was a killer.

*

“This is your favourite place?”

“Yes.”

Ash led Eiji directly to a table at the other end of the library and gestured for him to sit. Eiji did, placing his bag on the table, and smiling a little at how _Ash_ this was.

“What?” Ash asked, a little defensive. “You got something you wanna say?”

Eiji fought back a grin; he didn’t succeed. “No.”

Ash gave him a look, but didn’t say anything else as he put his own bag down and gestured to the stacks. Eiji nodded and sat taking out his laptop, plugging it in, and began the process of editing.

It turned out that Ash’s favourite place in Cape Cod was the library. Five stories high, with a sizable redwood growing through the middle, Ash informed Eiji it was nothing compared to the New York Library, a place Eiji had been too busy to visit when he could have. That was his real favourite, Ash had confided, eyes alight, but this was good too.

When he came back, Ash had a small stack of books that he flipped through before unpacking his own laptop. They sat across from each other, each of them doing their own work. Ash did research for a living, Eiji had learned, mostly prospect research for non-profits. He was still deciding what he wanted to study in school, and in the meantime, this suited him fine and paid the bills.

They worked in companionable silence, sometimes looking up from their screens to smile at each other or pull faces, but mostly it was just work. When they were finished, or as close as they were going to get to finished that day, Ash took him on a tour of the library.

Listening to and watching Ash talk about the Cape Cod Public Library was like watching Belle step into the library the Beast gave her. There were stars in his eyes, and he didn’t stop smiling the whole time. Ash was animated, he gestured emphatically, and he laughed more than Eiji had seen so far. He was bright and beautiful, and Eiji gave up his futile struggle against his own budding romantic feelings. He felt them unfurl in his chest, soaking up Ash’s happiness like water, like sunlight.

It was at once terrifying, and freeing.

“This section is good too,” Ash said, gesturing to the stacks behind him. “Really good translations, and the footnotes by this company,” Ash held out one of the translated novels he was talking about, “are informative and easy to understand. Hands down the best.” He stepped to the side and swept an arm over the adjoining stacks, “And _these_ ones…”

It was like seeing Ash in his natural habitat, joyous and thriving.

Finally, once the tour was done, Ash turned to him without preamble and said, “I’m hungry.”

Eiji laughed, “I can cook, if you want.”

Ash looked a little surprised, but he quickly covered it up with a grin.

They stopped by Dora’s shop, where she was pleasant and friendly, and Ash was coolly polite in return. Eiji couldn’t get them out of there fast enough.

“What are you making me?” Ash asked once they were in Eiji’s apartment. He peered around curiously, making no attempt to help.

“ _We_ ,” Eiji corrected, “are going to make curry. Green curry. Do you like spicy food?”

Apparently Ash’s meals consisted mostly of salads and sandwiches, so everything Eiji taught him he found novel. But, Ash was a quick study, and even though he hip-checked Eiji when he was washing the carrots making him drop them in the sink, then flicked water in Eiji’s face, and wiped his wet hands along Eiji’s bare forearms, Ash was otherwise a good cooking partner. He did what he was told, at any rate.

Ash played music while they worked, and sang along unselfconsciously. His voice was nice, he could carry a tune pretty well, and it encouraged Eiji to sing along too. Soon Ash was turning up the volume and they were singing more loudly. They grinned at each other over the counter, and when Ash hip – checked Eiji again, he did it right back.

When everything was done except for the rice; Ash dropped his chin onto Eiji’s shoulder. It made Eiji feel warm, the feelings stirring in his chest made him feel illicit. He had the mad urge to nuzzle Ash.

“Tired?” Eiji asked, blaming the sudden softness in his voice on their proximity, he obviously didn’t need to speak more loudly than this.

“Mm.” Ash replied.

“The rice is almost done,” Eiji tried again. He was leaning with his hands against the counter, awfully aware of Ash’s solid presence at his back.

“Good.” Ash leaned his head against Eiji’s. Eiji closed his eyes.

There came a loud pounding on the door, it startled both of them. For a second Eiji thought it was on his door, and then realized it had to be –

Ash was already moving. He was across the room in the blink of an eye and looking out into the hallway. Eiji followed without thinking.

“ _Ash_.” His name was said with equal parts relief and desperation. It was two young women, both of them with long dark hair, both of them looking intently at Ash.

“Martha said you could help.” One of them said, she was slightly taller, slightly younger looking.

Eiji couldn’t see Ash’s face, he was standing mostly behind him, but he saw Ash nod once.

He turned to Eiji, and all the humour in his face was gone. “Save me some curry?” At the last second his words took on an upward tilt turning them from statement to question, like Ash changed his mind partway through.

“Okay,” Eiji said, confused and not a little worried.

Ash nodded again, and then turned to the girls, pulling out his keys and ushering them inside, closing the door firmly behind him.

Eiji wandered back into his apartment. The rice was done five minutes later. Eiji unplugged the rice cooker, but he didn’t serve himself any of the food. Instead he made himself some tea and sat in his living room.

Dora’s voice in his head came unbidden. _Only the truly desperate ask for Ash’s help_.

Eiji turned on his laptop and scrolled through videos to watch. A friend of his, a doctorate student, had posted something on transformation magic. She had volunteered in the athletics department and often helped schedule transportation and training areas for Eiji and his fellow athletes.

Her video was part of her research. She discussed some of her findings and at times went off on tangents where it seemed she was thinking out loud more than anything. Eiji smiled, he remembered her this way, eager, and a little absent minded.

Essentially she theorized that transformation magic was a recessive gene. It was rare and so far impossible to learn. Many people had attempted to teach themselves, to create formulas for potions or spells, but the documented instances of people being able to transform into animals happened without any real effort on their part, it was just something they could do.

When that video was done, Eiji considered leaving a comment. He hesitated with his fingers poised on the keyboard. It felt like a slippery slope. Once he made contact with one person from his old life, he would need to be accountable to everyone. He wasn’t ready to do that yet. He navigated away from the page to watch something else.

Finding nothing sufficiently distracting, Eiji got up and began to tidy his apartment. He washed dishes, cleaned up the counter, swept, finally put away his clean laundry, and began to sort through his medicine cabinet. Eiji was just checking the expiry date on some old cold medicine when there was a soft knock on his door. He shoved the box back in place, and bolted for the door just barely catching the light switch on his way out of the bathroom.

Opening the door he found Ash on the other side. Wordlessly, Eiji stepped back and Ash came in. Without prompting Ash went over to the kitchen, taking the lid off the rice cooker and said, without looking at Eiji, “You didn’t eat.”

“No,” Eiji agreed. He walked into the kitchen and took out plates and cutlery. Ash helped himself to the food they had made together and walked around the counter to sit at one of only two stools the apartment had come with, Eiji sat on the other.

They ate quietly for a moment and then Eiji finally asked, tentative. “Is everything all right?”

Ash put his fork down and sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and then nodded. He looked up at Eiji, finally meeting his gaze.

“I’m sure you’ve heard something about what I can do, what people come to me for.” Eiji shifted guiltily in his seat. “It’s always people stuck in bad situations, caught between a rock and a hard place. Magic doesn’t leave traces in the body, and everything in my compounds is benign. When people are preyed upon, I give them something to incapacitate their attacker, it looks natural, so they aren’t implicated, and neither am I.” Ash paused and picked his fork up again, not eating with it, just pushing the food around his plate. “The first time I used it, I got it wrong, and the old neighbour who was abusing me died. Griffin, my brother tried to take the blame for it, but it was my mother who was accused. Something similar had happened to her as a child. They couldn’t prove anything, but it was her notes I used to make it, and then, after his funeral, she was gone.”

Eiji wanted very much to reach out and touch Ash, but he didn’t. He thought about how very unfair it was to blame a child for the actions of a predator, it wasn’t right that Ash suffer from his attacker and the judgement of the town. Eiji had heard that Ash’s first victim had been claimed when Ash was only a child, but no one had gone into detail, and now he understood why. The man wasn’t a victim at all, just another monster who didn’t reap nearly as much as he had sowed.

“But,” Ash said, after a brief pause. “That’s not really why everyone talks about me.”

Now, finally, Eiji brought up the worst rumour he had heard going around about Ash.

“Your brother,” Eiji said.

Ash put the fork down again; he looked out the window, turning away from Eiji.

There was a long beat of silence in which Eiji wondered if he had gone too far, if he had grossly miscalculated. But, then, Ash spoke again.

“He went to the next town over, there was an earthquake, and he had training as a first responder.” Ash said, speaking slowly, like the words were pulled from him. Eiji wondered how long it had been since Ash had talked about this. “He got caught in a landslide, spent too much time under without air. They managed to revive him, but by then he was brain-dead. Griffin was brought here on life support, and his will clearly stated that if he were ever declared brain-dead, that he wanted to be taken off as soon as we had settled his affairs.” Another pause. “Our dad didn’t want to. He got a lawyer, he wanted to contest the will.” Ash’s voice shook. “I knew it wasn’t what he wanted. I watched my brother lie there for weeks, and then months as our dad tried to have the will overturned.”

Eiji saw Ash’s fist clench; saw the line of tension along his shoulders. “All that time I sat with him in the hospital, all I could think about was how Griffin was the one to clean up my scrapped knees when I fell, and when I had nightmares he always let me sleep with him, and during thunder storms we would sit in the living room under blankets and get flashlights, and he would read to me.”

Tears gathered in Eiji’s eyes, he blinked them back and swallowed hard.

“It wasn’t what he wanted,” Ash said after another pause, his voice a bit steadier, but still not back to normal. “Even with all the magic we have, some things can’t be undone, and someone had to listen to Griffin, so I did.”

Ash had turned in his seat completely, his back to Eiji. He leaned forward, head in his hands.

“I had to.” He said.

Eiji got up; tears falling freely down his cheeks. He didn’t hesitate as he put his arms around Ash.

He felt Ash shake, crying silently, and then he was holding Eiji back, pressing his face in Eiji’s stomach. Eiji ran his hands soothingly up and down his back, and gently through his hair. He murmured quietly to him, reassuring Ash that it was okay, that he was okay, and that Eiji was there for him.

The front of Eiji’s shirt was damp by the time Ash pulled back. He looked up at Eiji, eyes, nose, and cheeks red, his face wet. Eiji dried his tears with the palms of his hands, cupping his face and pressing his forehead against Ash’s.

“I’m sorry,” Eiji said quietly. And, “Thank you for telling me.”

They stayed like that for a long moment, and then Ash slowly moved back, letting go of Eiji’s shirt, which he had been clutching in a death grip.

“Are you hungry?” Eiji said quietly, meeting Ash’s bright gaze. He didn’t wait for answer before he said, “We should finish eating.” Ash stood, and now Eiji was the one tipping his head up to look at him.

“Okay,” Ash said.

They sat back down and ate their now cold food. Neither of them complained, and after a moment, Eiji began to chat about his plants. Telling Ash about how much they had grown, when he thought the edible ones would be ready, and how nicely Ash’s soybean plant was doing now. Ash listened, nodding along, and when they were done he insisted on washing the dishes.

He left shortly after that. At the door of his apartment, Eiji stood with Ash.

“Thanks for –“ Ash began, clearly searching for the right word, “today,” he finished.

Eiji nodded. “Any time,” he said.

The corner of Ash’s mouth lifted, it reminded Eiji of the first time they had spoken.

Ash reached out, he tucked a lock of Eiji’s hair behind his ear, and like the two movements were connected, he leaned down and kissed Eiji on the cheek. Eiji’s pulse jumped, his face felt hot. Ash didn’t look away from him, and Eiji didn’t – couldn’t – either.

“Goodnight,” Ash said, and turned to the door, disappearing before Eiji could say it back.

*

Now that Eiji had heard Ash’s side of the story, he wouldn’t hear a single word against him. Whenever someone tried to bring up Ash, or tried to make a remark about him, since he was Eiji’s neighbour, Eiji would firmly change the subject. Or he would shoot glares at them so fierce the other party would look away, face flushed.

It probably wasn’t his battle to fight, but Eiji had already thrown on his armour, picked up his weapon, and jumped into the fray. There was no way he was letting them hurt Ash anymore.

Not that he mentioned this to Ash, of course. What Eiji did finally bring up, was pole–vaulting. They had dinner together almost every night now, and Ash had asked him what he did before his move, and so Eiji told him. He told him about going to school in New York, about his scholarship, and his dreams of competing professionally. He told Ash about his accident, about the pain that ripped through him like a flood, sweeping away everything he had worked for, making it slip through his fingers like water through cupped hands.

“My sister was the one to suggest I come here,” Eiji explained. They sat on his couch, his laptop open, and screen dark. Eiji put down his chopsticks and pulled his bag toward him, taking out his wallet he extracted from it a small charm; he passed it to Ash, placing it on his waiting palm. “She gave me that.” Ash looked down at the charm in his hand and then back up at Eiji who smiled at his unspoken question. “It’s for luck in marriage,” Eiji shook his head, more fond than he had been when she had given it to him. “My sister’s lucky,” Eiji explained. “None of us have really strong magic, except for her.” Eiji told Ash about how Sakura never missed her bus, how she won every contest she entered, how she stumbled upon a lost sewing kit and then had everything she needed to fix her friend’s skirt when it tore that same day.

“She said she looked up places to go in the area, and found cheap train tickets here,” Eiji explained. “It was actually a typo on the part of the train service, they left off a zero, but they honoured the price Sakura found them at, so she bought them for me, and I came here.”

Ash smiled a little, and handed the charm back. Eiji took it, running his thumb over the embroidered kanji. “And that?” Ash pointed at the charm.

“Sakura told me she found it on the way to the temple so, she thought it was probably meant for me.” Eiji rolled his eyes. “She was probably just being cheap but,” he shrugged, and then put the charm away.

“Tell me about your family,” Ash said, putting down his now empty bowl and leaning his elbow on the back of the couch, head in his hand, his body turned toward Eiji.

Eiji told him. He told Ash about his dress–maker mother, his aspiring architect sister, and his travelling businessman father. Eiji told him about his life in Izumo, as best as he could he described what it was like, and then remembered the pictures he kept on his phone. He scooted over the couch so Ash could see them.

“This is our apartment building, and this is our rooftop garden. I planted the blueberries.”

Ash was a good audience, asking questions for clarification and reacting strongly exactly when Eiji wanted him to.

“ _Really_?”

“ _I know, right_?”

Ash had slunk down so he could better see over Eiji’s shoulder; he was pressed right against him. Eiji flipped through pictures and elbowed him when Ash let out a low whistle when he came across a picture of Sakura.

“She looks like you,” Ash said, rubbing his side. “She’s cute.”

“She does not, and she isn’t.” Eiji said firmly.

Ash just laughed.

Eventually Ash’s head dropped to Eiji’s shoulder. It wasn’t that Eiji didn’t notice, it was more like it felt like a natural progression, so even though it made him feel pleasantly warm, it didn’t make his heart leap out of his chest like it had threatened to do on a few other occasions. This much was familiar; this much was charted water.

When he was done Eiji went back to the home screen of his phone and then locked it, setting it down. Ash’s head was still on his shoulder and Eiji felt like he had when Aslan had climbed into his lap. A little like he had been chosen, a little obligated to sit still, and a lot pleased.

Neither of them said anything, and Eiji was loath to break the silence. For nothing better to do he picked his phone back up, and was surprised when Ash’s hand suddenly covered his own. It was just a brief touch, like Eiji’s movement had pushed his own hand into Ash’s, not the other way around, because now Ash was pointing, tapping at a spot on Eiji’s hand, just above the knuckle of his index finger.

“You have a beauty mark here,” Ash observed.

“Yeah,” Eiji agreed, unable to stop himself from enjoying the way it felt to have Ash draw his finger along the back of his hand.

Ash shifted slightly, and Eiji’s shoulder bumped Ash’s chest. “People with beauty marks on their fingers are supposed to be good with their hands.”

He didn’t know why he found that funny, but Eiji laughed. “I can’t really do crafts or anything.”

“Maybe that’s not your particular skill.”

Ash lifted his head, and Eiji turned to look at him.

Now that he was here, it felt inevitable. Like Eiji was a moon pulled into Ash’s orbit, he was always going to end up revolving around him. Ash looked at him with bright green eyes, and Eiji looked back.

He watched as Ash leaned in slowly, brushed his nose against Eiji’s, making him smile. Then brushing his mouth against Eiji’s, once. And, then he was kissing him.

Ash’s kisses were equal parts taking and giving. He was slow and patient, letting Eiji adjust to the sensation before asking him to keep up. And, when Eiji’s hand came up to cup the side of Ash’s face, Ash’s hand covered Eiji’s, keeping it there.

It wasn’t just Ash’s eyes when he was happy that were soft and sweet, his lips were too, and so was his taste. It was the last semi-coherent thought Eiji had before Ash’s tongue was in his mouth, and then he couldn’t think about anything at all.

They kissed long and slow. It was a little messy at first, but Ash was a generous and skilled teacher, and Eiji had always been good at all things physical.

Without meaning to, Eiji found himself lying on top of Ash. He had pushed him back on the couch, and when he broke the kiss, startled by the sudden change in their positions, he was looking at Ash, eyes dark and half lidded, his lips red and wet, and his hair falling in his eyes.

Eiji felt blood rush to his face at the same moment it rushed somewhere much lower. He bit his lip without thinking.

Ash leaned up, and kissed him, pulling Eiji’s lip out from between his teeth. Eiji made a small noise he couldn’t control.

Eiji pulled away and slowly sat up. Ash watched him, and then sat up too, his expression complicated.

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing Ash said, looking at him with big eyes. “Did I push you? I didn’t mean – “

Completely taken aback by his apology, Eiji cut in before Ash could say anything else. “No! No. I just – “ Eiji gestured vaguely, feeling himself blush again, this time from embarrassment. It was stupid to be embarrassed by what he was about to say, he knew that, but knowing something and feeling it were two different things. “I’ve never – um, I’ve never – “

“Had sex?” Ash supplied helpfully.

Eiji’s ears burned. “Yeah,” he said, not looking at Ash.

Carefully, Ash leaned forward; he nudged Eiji’s cheek with his nose, and then kissed that same spot. “You’re cute,” was his reply.

Eiji gave him a look, which made Ash laugh.

“Don’t be shy,” Ash said, taking his hand. “That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You want to stop, right? That’s fine. We don’t have to do anything, now or ever, if you don’t want to. So, don’t worry, okay?”

“What about you?” Eiji asked, threading their fingers together, enjoying the warm weight of Ash’s hand in his.

“It wouldn’t be my first time,” Ash said. He looked down at their hands. “ I – “ He broke off, ran a hand through his hair and took a breath. “Sometimes it’s – difficult for me, but I want to try. If you do.” He added.

“I want to try.”

Ash smiled. “Good.” A slight pause. “Because I’ve been thinking about it.”

Eiji felt hot all over. That was too much.

He made a little pained noise and pressed his forehead to Ash’s shoulder. Ash laughed again and leaned his cheek against the top of Eiji’s head.

“Very cute.” Ash said.

*

August was a good month and Eiji liked it, and not just because it was Ash’s birth month, which Ash constantly reminded Eiji of, making him roll his eyes.

The vegetation in Cape Cod was in glorious form. There was so much green everywhere, Eiji hadn’t realized it before, but it was probably his favourite colour. His plants were thriving, and he happily collected all the fruits and vegetables they bore. He went over and took care of Ash’s plants too, he had been given a spare key, but Ash was the one who almost always let him in.

“Where’s Aslan?” Eiji asked one morning, making breakfast in Ash’s apartment for a change.

Ash was wrapped around him. He wasn’t a morning person, and his face was buried firmly in the crook of Eiji’s neck. Ash hadn’t let go of Eiji since he came into the kitchen, preferring to shuffle around the room with Eiji like they were contestants in some strange four-legged race.

It was absurd, and a bit childish, and it made Eiji’s chest feel full.

“He’s around,” Ash mumbled, his lips moving on Eiji’s skin.

It was a very nice feeling that Eiji was determined to ignore for the moment.

“I haven’t seen him in a while, are you sure he’s okay?”

“Mhm.”

Eiji frowned a little, but the water in the kettle boiled and he busied himself with pouring water. Now, more than ever, the rumours about Ash seemed absurd. He was talented, and did indeed possess strong magic, but he almost never used it. After everything that had happened to him as a child, Ash was content to live without it. 

“Okay, Ash, you have to let go now.”

Ash placed a deliberate kiss to the skin on the curve of Eiji’s neck, and let go. Eiji bit the inside of his cheek to keep a foolish smile he knew was going to take over his whole face away.

After a few minutes of silent eating, Ash came more awake. His eyes looked focused and alert, he flipped through the newspaper with interest.

“Oh,” Eiji said, remembering. “I was invited to submit some things to the local gallery.”

“What?” Ash put down his mug and looked up at him sharply. “Are you kidding? That’s huge! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Eiji shrugged a shoulder, smiling, pleased and a little embarrassed. “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

Ash pointed his fork at him, “It’s a very big deal. This is amazing! Do you know what you’ll do?”

This was part of the reason Eiji hadn’t told Ash right away. He took a moment to blow on his tea, sip it, and then put the mug down. “I was thinking of taking shots of the town.” He said, picking up his own fork, gaze down. “And, of you, if that’s okay.”

Silence. Eiji bit his lip.

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

Eiji looked up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Ash said again, more firmly this time. “I don’t do nudes though, unless they’re tasteful.”

Eiji flushed. He kicked Ash under the table.

*

It was a well-established fact that new resident Eiji Okumura and shady town local Ash Lynx were together.

At first Eiji was like a prickly porcupine ready to stick anyone for the slightest wrong word or move when he went out with Ash. No one, however, was tactless enough to say anything to their faces. It was a bit tense at the beginning, when Eiji could practically see everyone doing mental math when they caught sight of Ash and Eiji walking around hand in hand. But, despite all the gossip that had gone around about Ash, none of it had been truly malicious. It was gossip because people, towns especially, were wont to talk, just as they had all put their efforts into helping Eiji, they had collectively turned a wary eye on Ash at the onset of rumours.

And, of course, it was not Ash’s fault. Eiji would never say that or think it. But, he could imagine Ash after the onset of these unkind rumours. He had seen glimpses of what he could be like. Cool and aloof, his head held high, his gaze sharp enough to cut. Ash wouldn’t have spared a second to explain or apologize to anyone who wasn’t involved in his business, and none of these people were. Eiji could see too how some people might look at Ash, see his obvious strength of character, his beautiful face, and think he had to be otherworldly. It wasn’t true; Eiji knew that first hand, but when people weren’t like you, you could be persuaded to believe anything about them.

Eiji was good at smoothing Ash’s sharp edges though. And, when they were out together, it meant that the town’s people saw more of Ash’s genuine smiles, they saw the soft light in his eyes, and they heard the sincere tone in his voice when he said, “Thank you.” It was doing wonders for Ash’s reputation, not to mention Ash had agreed to let his picture be used in the cat café’s website. Ash, with a Scottish Fold his arms, looking at the camera smiling with pure joy and contentment was what greeted visitors on the homepage.

It was a little amusing to see how quickly everyone warmed to Ash. Which, Eiji thought, he should have predicted, Ash was very good – looking, and charming, when he wanted to be. If he had wanted to win over these people, who could have done so from the start. This way was more effective though, because it was completely unconscious, Ash was just himself. Biting wit tempered by a charming smile, and suddenly everyone was willing to laugh at themselves if it meant Ash was laughing with them. Rumours about him still swirled, but most people seemed to think they couldn’t possibly be true now. A nice young man like, Ash? Nonsense.

Ash himself was a little more cautious; Eiji could feel him keeping everyone at arm’s length even as they strove for his attention. He wasn’t cold by nature though, Ash’s hesitancy was just the lingering frost in the first days of spring, it wasn’t made to last, and would thaw with gentle encouragement.

As wonderful as everything now was it was still sometimes hard for Eiji to wake up in the morning and remember he was far from his family, from his old life, that the thing he had worked for all these years was gone from him. In times like that Eiji would go out and visit the town’s green house. He was considered a special guest, and as long as he checked his bag at the front, and didn’t get in the way, he was permitted to go in and ‘visit’ the plants.

 When he was feeling out of sorts he went and talked to the vegetation, the sunflowers usually getting most of his attention. At first the workers shot him looks, but they soon became used to Eiji gesturing vaguely and speaking in quiet Japanese. It didn’t escape their notice that whenever he came by, any plants he spoke to soon grew at rapid rates. This too was why Eiji was given a free pass to visit.

 

 

One evening, Eiji came home late. It was getting closer to the date of his exhibit and even though he had more than enough pieces to display, he was still running around trying to find something _better_. The bright side was that Ash had gone out with him days ago to have his picture taken around town. He was an incredible model, and after a while Eiji forgot he was supposed to be working, he was more concerned with the way Ash smiled at him, and the teasing way he said Eiji’s name.

Putting his things down in the living room Eiji went into his kitchen to get a glass of water. It was uncomfortably hot out now, and it was a relief to come indoors to the relative cool of his apartment.

Leaning against the kitchen counter Eiji took out his phone, about to message Ash when he heard a soft meow. The equivalent of a polite cough. Setting his glass down Eiji went over to his balcony, there, sitting in front of the door, was Aslan. Eiji smiled and opened the door, greeting him warmly, like an old friend. When Eiji put out his hand, Aslan lifted his head and encouraged Eiji’s gentle scratches.

“Where have you been, hm?” Eiji said, both hands in Aslan’s soft fur. The cat blinked slowly at him, and Eiji suddenly stilled looking back.

How was it that he was only now noticing that Ash and his cat had eyes the exact same shade of green? Eiji’s brow furrowed slowly as an elusive thought skirted his mind. He opened his mouth, and said, thoughtlessly, “Ash?”

The form of the cat blurred, it was like Eiji’s eyes had unfocused, he blinked in surprise, and suddenly, crouched before him was not a cat, but a young man. Ash.

Eiji’s hands had fallen away from him, and he stared blankly. Silence.

_Be careful of Ash Lynx, that boy is a liar._

Ash scratched his cheek, looking sheepish. “Sorry,” he said eventually. “I didn’t mean to trick you.”

“What the _hell_?”

“Sorry, I’m sorry!” Ash caught Eiji’s hands when he made to shove him. They were kneeling on the floor in front of each other now. Eiji couldn’t tell if he was upset or not, he was definitely something though, and it seemed like he probably _should_ be upset.

Eiji allowed Ash to keep a hold on his hands, but he reserved the right to pull them back at any moment. “Explain.” He said.

Ash sighed. His grip loosened on one of Eiji’s hands, and Eiji would have bet almost anything he had been about to let go to run a hand through his hair. Ash didn’t though, just adjusted his grip on Eiji instead, and glanced down. At least he had the grace to look abashed.

“So, okay,” Ash began, “I can change.”

“No shit.”

Ash gave him a look. It was a strange mixture of delight and concern. Delight, because Ash found it endlessly amusing when Eiji swore, and concern, because he clearly couldn’t tell if Eiji was mad or not. Good. Eiji couldn’t really tell either.

“I was just curious about you,” Ash went on after a slightly awkward pause. “I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything. But, then you found me when I stepped in that glass, and I dunno – “ Ash shrugged eloquently. “I wanted to see what you would do, and well,” Ash looked up at him through long blonde lashes. “You weren’t what I expected.”

Now Eiji was upset, at his own self for his predictable and somewhat irritating reaction to that look. It wasn’t fair that Ash could make his heart flutter so easily.

“Why not tell me it was you sooner?”

Ash fidgeted. Eiji could see him struggle to respond like he was the one in the wrong; Ash was clearly out of practice admitting he was at fault.

“I don’t know,” Ash wasn’t looking at him now, Eiji watched in amazement as colour came slowly into Ash’s face. “It was kind of nice.”

“Ptff.”

Ash looked up sharply, cheeks stained red, his expression indignant when he realized Eiji was laughing at him. He tugged sharply on Eiji’s hands, and Eiji used that as an excuse to lean forward. He watched the look of surprise on Ash’s face soften to something else when Eiji kissed him.

Sitting back on his heels, Eiji watched Ash watching him. “You’re not mad?” Ash asked slowly, like he didn’t know if this was some kind of trap.

Eiji tilted his head to one side briefly considering, “No,” he said finally, finding that when he said it, it was true. “I wish you told me sooner though,” Eiji added dryly. “You just sat there listening to me say all these weird things, I did some weird stuff in front of you!”

Now it was Ash’s turn to laugh. “You did,” he agreed, eyes sparkling. “It was cute.”

Ash let go of Eiji’s hand and instead lifted Eiji’s chin up to kiss him. It made Eiji’s insides feel warm and liquid.

When he pulled back, Eiji asked, “Where did you get the name ‘Aslan’?”

“That’s my name,” Ash said standing, and extending his hand to Eiji.

He took it and allowed himself to be pulled up. “What?”

“It’s my name,” Ash repeated. “You didn’t really believe my name was actually ‘Ash Lynx’? That’s a little too on the nose, don’t you think?”

Eiji crossed his arms over his chest. “Is there anything else you’re not telling me?”

Ash grinned at him. He was more amused than he should be for someone who had only just been forgiven. Ash leaned down and whispered something into Eiji’s ear that made his whole face burn.

*

The evening of the exhibit, Eiji went alone to the gallery. It wasn’t often that Ash went to New York for work, but it was bad luck that his exhibit fell on the same weekend as Ash’s trip. Eiji had gone with him to the train station, assuring Ash up to the last second that it wasn’t a big deal that he would be gone, and yes, it was fine, and yes Eiji was fine, and no, Ash shouldn’t worry.

They had lingered so long on the platform that Ash had only time enough to steal a quick kiss from Eiji before jumping in the train, just barely beating the closing doors.

Eiji stood outside the side entrance of the gallery, the wall was covered in commissioned graffiti, and lavender grew all along that specific side. He took a deep breath, letting the strong floral smell calm him, and then went inside.

It looked like half the town, at least, had turned up for opening night. The gallery’s owner and manager ushered Eiji in with a wide smile, introducing him to the other artists and photographers, and then swiftly disappeared after confirming that they all knew what time the speeches would take place and where.

Mingling wasn’t exactly Eiji’s favourite thing, but he wasn’t terrible at it. No one was stuck up or stereotypically artsy, in a bad way, like Eiji had worried about. Frankly he should have known better, most artists he had ever met weren’t. They talked about the new movements in art, Eiji mostly listening as he was just learning about these things, and then they talked about the inspiration behind their own pieces.

“I adore your photography, Eiji,” one of his fellow exhibitors said, Alex, was their name. “I can feel the raw emotion coming through, and your focal piece,” Alex lifted their hands heavenward, seemingly unable to articulate what they meant in any other way but that gesture. The others nodded and murmured agreement.

Eiji laughed a little, hoping that sufficed as a response.

Eventually they all scattered, talking to the local news, accepting interviews, and speaking to the guests. Eiji had to do all these things too, it wasn’t entirely new territory for him, though he did feel a little out of his depth to be in the same league as people who had been in the arts for years.

It was with both relief and trepidation that Eiji made his way to the main room where a mic stand had been setup and the other artists were gathered when it was time to address the guests. Eiji scooped up a flute of champagne from a passing server and drank it in one, feeling it do little to stop the butterflies in his stomach from fluttering in panic.

Eiji took the note cards he had tucked in the inside pocket of his blazer out and fiddled with them as he half – listened to his fellow exhibitors speak. They each had about five minutes to talk about their pieces, what they meant, what they wanted to achieve, and why they chose that particular topic or theme. Eiji had memorized his notes, he knew exactly what he wanted to say, but that didn’t stop his heart from racing in his chest.

When it was finally his turn, Eiji felt like his whole head was on fire. He knew he was blushing furiously and could do exactly nothing about it. He wished he had had more champagne to drink. There was a brief smattering of applause as Eiji stepped up, quickly silenced when the gallery owner lifted her hands, and everyone looked at Eiji intently.

Eiji licked his lips. He swallowed, looked down at his note cards, and then looked back up. “First,” Eiji began, doing his best to keep his voice from sounding like he had just climbed a flight of stairs. “I’d like to thank Natasha for inviting me to participate in this event. My exhibit centres around the theme…”

It was funny that the more he talked, the easier it got. It was like the sheer anticipation of being stared at and listened to was the worst part, because once he was up his heart slowed. It still wasn’t his resting heart rate, and his voice was still a little too breathy, but at least it didn’t feel like he was having heart palpitations, so that was good.

Finally, Eiji had only to talk about his focal piece and then close his speech. “The main piece,” Eiji said, “’Dawn at Dusk,’ was made the centre of this collection because it – “ Eiji broke off. A pale head quickly making its way to the front of the crowd caught his attention. He would know that lovely blonde hair anywhere.

It was Ash.

He pushed his way to the very front, and grinned at Eiji when their gaze met. Eiji smiled back unthinking, then realized he had stopped talking. Feeling heat prickle the back of his neck, Eiji tried to recover.

“It’s, um, a portrait,” he said, gesturing behind him. Set up for all the artists was a projector with slides of their focal pieces, and when Eiji gestured, the picture in question appeared.

Behind him was a picture of Ash. They had gone up to the highest point of Cape Cod in the evening, and when the world was a warm glow of red, orange, and purple, Eiji had taken a picture of Ash’s profile against the sunset. The light softened his features; it brought out the gold in his hair, and was a compliment to his remarkable beauty.

“Dawn at Dusk,” Eiji repeated, glancing at his notes, and then back up, catching Ash’s gaze immediately. “Is a love letter.” He saw Ash’s expression change; this wasn’t what was written in Eiji’s notes at all. “To the town, to the harmony of nature and humans, and – to someone very special to me.”

It wasn’t that Eiji was trying to be coy; ‘someone’ could only be one person. It didn’t seem necessary to say his name; it was probably too much to say his name.

Eiji looked away first, and then continued. “I hope you enjoy the collection. Thank you again to everyone who had a hand in making this exhibit possible, and thank you everyone for coming today.” Eiji made a little bow, and applause ushered him off to the side.

When the speeches were done they were free to continue enjoying the exhibit. At one point Ash had disappeared, and Eiji jumped when his voice suddenly came from behind him.

“Interesting speech.” Ash said.

Eiji turned around slowly. Ash’s expression was hard to read.

“I don’t remember reading that when I looked over your notes.”

Eiji bit his lip. He didn’t really know what to say. He hadn’t expected it either.

Ash opened his mouth to say something else, and then closed it. Eiji still wasn’t sure what to make of the look on his face. Ash tried again, but with the same results. He shook his head and took Eiji’s hand.

“Do you have to stay, or can we go back home?”

“I don’t have to stay.”

“Okay.”

‘Back home’ was Ash’s apartment. And, Eiji went willingly when Ash led him to his bedroom.

They were soon a mess of hungry mouths, long limbs, and so much bare skin.

Eiji discovered that Ash made an incredible and highly addictive sound if he touched him _just so_. He confirmed that Ash was a gentle and giving lover, and that all his confidence and smugness was well deserved. It would have been a little irritating if Eiji thought about it, but he could hardly think at all. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except for the way Ash gasped his name, his mouth on Eiji’s skin, their bodies pressed together, and when Ash rocked into him, Eiji cried out.

Ash was breathing hard in his ear; he had stopped moving, they were both trembling, so close to the edge. Eiji cupped Ash’s face and leaned up to kiss him. Ash pressed his forehead to Eiji’s when he drew back.

Eiji smiled and said, voice shaky, “So, you’re not just talk.”

Ash laughed, it was on a breath, and he lifted his head to better look at Eiji. “I never am.”

“Don’t be smug.” Eiji jabbed a finger into Ash’s chest.

Ash moved, and Eiji bit his lip to keep from moaning. He tried to glare, but he couldn’t quite manage it.

“Fine,” Eiji said on a gasp as Ash picked up his rhythm again. “But, next time – _ah_ – next time – “

“Yeah?” Ash prompted, speaking in Eiji’s ear.

Eiji shuddered, “It’s – the other way around.” He finally managed.

Ash didn’t say anything, and Eiji didn’t get to see his face, but he felt Ash’s body shake with climax.

When Ash lifted his head again, blonde hair spilling over his luminous eyes, Eiji was smiling.

“You look like the cat that swallowed the canary.” Ash accused.

Eiji said nothing, just raised his eyebrows. Ash was flushed, and his eyes were bright with determination.

Ash really wasn’t all talk. Even if Eiji didn’t attest to that fact, the neighbours who, unfortunately, did hear Eiji’s muffled cries well into the night certainly could.

 

*

“ _So, I was right!_ _You’re so welcome, ‘nii-chan._ ”

“ _Shut up. You had nothing to do with this._ ”

“ _I did! I gave you that marriage charm, and it worked like, well, like a charm! You don’t have to thank me, just admit that I’m the best sister in the whole world_.”

Eiji rolled his eyes. He was video calling his sister, and Sakura, to absolutely no one’s surprise, was being a pain as usual.

He sat in his living room, a mug of still steaming tea on the coffee table beside his laptop. It was the dead of winter, and Eiji really appreciated the tea’s warmth in that moment. His phone buzzed, then buzzed, and buzzed again. He turned it over and saw his friends from New York commenting on his new photos. Eiji had started a website to showcase them. And, there were replies to comments he had left on some of his friends’ new pole-vaulting videos.

“ _So, when are you bringing him to meet the family?”_ Sakura demanded. “ _I bet he’s even better looking in person. It_ had _to be my luck that let you date someone like_ him _– “_

The door to the apartment opened, Ash came in. Eiji turned to look, smiling in greeting when Ash glanced over at him.

“ _Oh! Is that, Ash? Let me talk to him!_ ”

Eiji jerked his head back toward the screen. “ _No way! I gotta go, say hi to mom and dad for me –_ “

“ _What? Onii-chan –!_ “

“Okay, bye!”

Eiji closed the chat and turned to Ash as he sat on the couch beside him. Ash gave him a look.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Ash said. Then. “Do you not want me to talk to your family?”

“What?” Eiji said again. “No. I don’t want _them_ to talk to _you_. Especially my sister, she’s so not cute.”

The corner of Ash’s mouth quirked up. “She looks exactly like you.”

“Ugh, don’t say that.”

Ash shook his head, and stole a drink of tea from Eiji’s mug. Eiji allowed this and said, after a slight pause. “You know I don’t _not_ want you to talk to them or anything, it’s just – “ Eiji made a little noise as he gestured with his hand. “They’re embarrassing.” Another pause. Eiji sat back, resting his back on the couch. “If we go to Japan,” he began, and watched as Ash’s expression brightened, “just bear in mind that I warned you.”

Ash set down Eiji’s mug and leaned forward to kiss him. He tasted like jasmine green tea. “Duly noted.” He said, smiling.

Despite what he said, Eiji was excited for Ash to meet his family. He just wasn’t looking forward to talking with his sister, who was sure to be even more smug in person. 

The worst part was, she was probably right. The charm had worked.

**Author's Note:**

> *Strums guitar* Who can't write without smut, apparently???? Me. It's me. 
> 
> I feel like most things I write I describe as "fever dreams," and this is def one of those. I just really wanted to get it out, and what better way to procrastinate on writing fic then by writing other fic?? 
> 
> I spent too long on this for someone with a whole bunch of other things to do, please talk to me about it!!!
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://nightofviolet.tumblr.com/) and on [twitter](https://twitter.com/snow_falls4) for more shit no one asked for =D


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